Welcome to Fall

Summer has hit the hay, at least in Canada land anyway. We are now into the season of fall where the days a crisp and the nights are cool. Where the bears roam outside my bedroom window and leave lots of little bear droppings around the ranch. There was even snow on the highest mountain range around here yesterday and the rain has made the paddocks green and muddy.

Myself, i haven't been doing much these last couple of weeks, besides working and chilling out on the ranch. These days at the ranch the weekends are at it busiest and the weekdays are pretty quiet. This week unfortunately i have been sick which was a real pain, i couldn't even get out of bed and get food or drink. So i've lost a little bit of weight but i'm on antibiotics so now i'm feeling a little better.

My mum and dad are coming to visit me on the ranch in two weeks time, which is very exciting. They are on a 4 month trip around the world, they have already hit Hong Kong and San Francisco and will soon be in Canada. They will also do more of the states, Europe and Sth Africa. They should have a wicked time.

Only a month and a bit til i head home. Yay!

Lady Jesslyn

Serving is Stupid

There are some people in this world who think Servers/Waitresses are stupid. I am not one of these people and neither am i stupid. Tonight was one of those nights were people demand stuff from you and are not even grateful when they recieve it. They yell at you and all you can do is smile and do what you can to make them happy. Meanwhile back in the kitchen away from the guests you rant and rave about how the stupid lady gave you a greasy because you tried to clear her plate while she was hovering it like an eagle.

I know this profession is all about giving the customer what they want but sometimes i would like to really tell them how rude they are being and tell them that i am not some dumb waitress and you should pay me more respect or you are not getting any dessert!

Some days i love my job but other days i just want to scream. It really depends on the people. However i am good at my job and i'm also very good at nodding and smiling. Both pays off in the end.

Lady Jesslyn

I'm little bit lonesome, I'm a little bit blue

The last couple of days I have been feeling a tad lonely, I guess thats pretty normal sometimes. I mean up here all I have time to do is work, drink and think. The worst is drinking thinking. Liquor logic in a can. It’s not just love loneliness, it’s missing family/friends and Australia loneliness too. It’s weird because I keep having mini daydreams. I think about some of my ex-boyfriends coming up to the ranch and what they would say and do to declare there love for me and then they would swept me off my feet. Some I would embrace and others I would turn away from. I really have to stop having these daydreams but they can be pretty entertaining sometimes! You imagine yourself going back to certain situations and saying all the things that you wanted to say to people and not holding back.

Last night we went down the Riv (the only bar in town-which hasn’t changed in like 50 years) and then came home. I wasn’t really in the mood for drinking but last night there was apparently a meteor shower forecast. So when we got home I decided to spend some time alone talking to God and watching the stars for a while. I cried for a while too, which was good to have a release of emotions, and then just told god that I was lonely and that I wasn’t sure what to do about the future. Unfortunately I still can’t see my three stars which does freak me out sometimes but there are some many other constellations out there; it was just a nice night. You can see Cassiopeia, the big dipper and little dipper here tho. Not quite as good as the southern cross or Orion’s belt but it’s still spectacular to see what God created. I even got to see a few shooting stars.

Then I came back inside and eat some tim-tams which was awesome! Nothing helps loneliness like a packet of tim-tams.

Lady Jesslyn

Visit to Golden

Luke and Telsin came up for the last weekend which was awesome, nice to see the boys again. They got to experience some horse riding time, some drinking time and much to my dismay they didn’t want to have any line dancing time. I don’t think the boys love the country music and line dancing as much as I do but they did enjoy the fresh air and chance to relax for a few days. I took them down to the river which was nice and refreshing and then on the Sunday I got a few days off to drive back with them to Golden. So I’ve just had Monday and Tuesday off to revisit some old friends and drinking holes that was my home for 4 months. It has changed so much, well the town is still the same as it was but there is absolutely no snow! So weird to see the mountain and town and see what’s normally underneath. It’s actually pretty scary to see what’s underneath, especially on the mountain.

Monday I took pretty easy and relaxed but on Tuesday Luke and I went up the mountain to go mountain bike riding. So as I was going up the Gondola I got the chance to look down and see plenty of pine trees, waterfalls, lakes and huge massive rocks! I must say that mountain bike riding is pretty wicked, scary but hell fun. We got kitted up with helmets, wicked suspension bikes and protective gear for arms and legs and hit the tracks. It is a shame I forgot my camera cos I would love for you all to the see the mountain and what we were riding. I looked up a few of the mountains and I just couldn’t fathom what the hell was I thinking when in winter I straight lined the whole thing! I must be nutso! Surprisingly Luke and I didn’t hurt ourselves coming down the mountain on bikes, I did fall over once into some slippery rocks but all was well. It was good to see the people in Golden too and catch up a bit with everyone. Somehow I don’t think Luke will be leaving anytime soon.

So apart from the stupid greyhound bus driver arguing with me in front of the whole bus because I didn’t give him my ticket at the door (I gave it to him when he came on the bus) and telling me to get off his bus (to which I said no) my trip to Golden was a lot of fun.

Back to work now.... 3 months here to go!

Lady Jesslyn

Bad Day

Yesterday was just one of those bad days. I was in mood all day and no matter how many times i tried to snap out of it, i just couldn't. I know it's not bad to have a bad day once in a while but it makes me feel weird cos i just didn't feel like being nice to anybody and that is bad when you have to work a 14hr day and serve people at the same time. I even felt like sitting down and crying or smashing something against a wall. I always wanted to invent a screaming booth, somewhere people could go to just scream or hit a padded wall to release all the frustration that they may be having. Sounds good doesn't it!
I wasn't angry at anything in particular. There were some guests that were just creating problems throughout the day and then people in the office telling me how to run my dining room (thanks but i alreay know how too!).
But anyway, i had a game of pool and some bacardi and then had an early night and i think i have managed to sleep on it or sleep over it i don't know which. Today should be better.

Lady Jesslyn

Surprise!

Surprise! I got two new tattoo's last Tuesday when i was in Kamloops. They are so cool and pretty! I love them.

This one is on my left wrist, so i can tell my left from my right! lol
This one is on my right bicep, it's the capricorn symbol.

p.s.

I have a new laptop! Yay. It will be permantely attached to me with a heavy duty lock and key. lol

Song written June 2007

Far from Home, June, 2007
Never far from my mind
Wish I could hold you close
From the sandy desert to the Rocky Mountains
I’d travel home to your arms
When you’re far from home
Look for the stars and you won’t be alone
Let the stars guide you and light your way
To the path before you
You sing by the campfire
When you lay awake at night
When you can’t seem to find your way
Remember me, remember me
Count the stars, watch the sun
Before you know I’ll be home
Til then when you’re far from home
Look for the stars and you won’t be alone
You’ll never be alone
You’ll never be alone

Song wirtten May 2007

Honesty May, 2007
I can’t sleep
Can’t eat
Time goes by without my notice
I’m sick of games
Sick of honesty that gets me in trouble
Honesty is like air
So why can’t i breathe?
Honesty is like water
So why can’t i swallow it?
I need forgiveness
Lord i need to forget
Mistakes are my life lessons
Life lessons without regret
This is hard, my heart aches
Pulls me from edge to ledge
Why, why can’t i fix it
The words in my head
Match the words in my heart
So why does my mouth not speak
Honesty is like water
So why can’t i swallow it?
Honesty is like air
So why does it hurt to breathe
I can’t sleep, can’t eat
Can’t breathe